For all of my fellow laid-off, hard working Americans, and your families, a much-needed chuckle for the holidays! All the best!On the first day of Unemployment at Christmas, my (former) manager gave to me:
A severance letter personalized for me.
Two minutes of sheer panic, and a severance letter personalized for me.
Three letters about Cobra, two minutes of sheer panic, and a severance letter personalized for me.
Four calling recruiters, three letters about Cobra, two minutes of sheer panic, and a severance letter personalized for me.
Five turn-your-gold-into-cash emails (under consideration), four calling recruiters, three letters about Cobra, two minutes of sheer panic, and a severance letter personalized for me.
Six sympathetic glances, five turn-your-gold-into-cash emails (under consideration), four calling recruiters, three letters about Cobra, two minutes of sheer panic, and a severance letter personalized for me.
Seven jobs on Monster, six sympathetic glances, five turn-your-gold-into-cash emails (under consideration), four calling recruiters, three letters about Cobra, two minutes of sheer panic, and a severance letter personalized for me.
Eight references requested, seven jobs on Monster, six sympathetic glances, five turn-your-gold-into-cash emails (under consideration), four calling recruiters, three letters about Cobra, two minutes of sheer panic, and a severance letter personalized for me.
Nine (confusing) unemployment letters sendin’, eight references requested, seven jobs on Monster, six sympathetic glances, five turn-your-gold-into-cash emails (under consideration), four calling recruiters, three letters about Cobra, two minutes of sheer panic, and a severance letter personalized for me.
Ten bills a-heaping, nine (confusing) unemployment letters sendin’, eight references requested, seven jobs on Monster, six sympathetic glances, five turn-your-gold-into-cash emails (under consideration), four calling recruiters, three letters about Cobra, two minutes of sheer panic, and a severance letter personalized for me.
Eleven sketchy work-at-home offers (also under consideration), ten bills a-heaping, nine (confusing) unemployment letters sendin’, eight references requested, seven jobs on Monster, six sympathetic glances, five turn-your-gold-into-cash emails (under consideration), four calling recruiters, three letters about Cobra, two minutes of sheer panic, and a severance letter personalized for me.
Twelve resume versions, eleven sketchy work-at-home offers (also under consideration), ten bills a-heaping, nine (confusing) unemployment letters sendin’, eight references requested, seven jobs on Monster, six sympathetic glances, five turn-your-gold-into-cash emails (under consideration), four calling recruiters, three letters about Cobra, two minutes of sheer panic, and a severance letter personalized for me.
A severance letter personalized for me.
Two minutes of sheer panic, and a severance letter personalized for me.
Three letters about Cobra, two minutes of sheer panic, and a severance letter personalized for me.
Four calling recruiters, three letters about Cobra, two minutes of sheer panic, and a severance letter personalized for me.
Five turn-your-gold-into-cash emails (under consideration), four calling recruiters, three letters about Cobra, two minutes of sheer panic, and a severance letter personalized for me.
Six sympathetic glances, five turn-your-gold-into-cash emails (under consideration), four calling recruiters, three letters about Cobra, two minutes of sheer panic, and a severance letter personalized for me.
Seven jobs on Monster, six sympathetic glances, five turn-your-gold-into-cash emails (under consideration), four calling recruiters, three letters about Cobra, two minutes of sheer panic, and a severance letter personalized for me.
Eight references requested, seven jobs on Monster, six sympathetic glances, five turn-your-gold-into-cash emails (under consideration), four calling recruiters, three letters about Cobra, two minutes of sheer panic, and a severance letter personalized for me.
Nine (confusing) unemployment letters sendin’, eight references requested, seven jobs on Monster, six sympathetic glances, five turn-your-gold-into-cash emails (under consideration), four calling recruiters, three letters about Cobra, two minutes of sheer panic, and a severance letter personalized for me.
Ten bills a-heaping, nine (confusing) unemployment letters sendin’, eight references requested, seven jobs on Monster, six sympathetic glances, five turn-your-gold-into-cash emails (under consideration), four calling recruiters, three letters about Cobra, two minutes of sheer panic, and a severance letter personalized for me.
Eleven sketchy work-at-home offers (also under consideration), ten bills a-heaping, nine (confusing) unemployment letters sendin’, eight references requested, seven jobs on Monster, six sympathetic glances, five turn-your-gold-into-cash emails (under consideration), four calling recruiters, three letters about Cobra, two minutes of sheer panic, and a severance letter personalized for me.
Twelve resume versions, eleven sketchy work-at-home offers (also under consideration), ten bills a-heaping, nine (confusing) unemployment letters sendin’, eight references requested, seven jobs on Monster, six sympathetic glances, five turn-your-gold-into-cash emails (under consideration), four calling recruiters, three letters about Cobra, two minutes of sheer panic, and a severance letter personalized for me.
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2 comments:
You are hysterical. Way to see the silver lining of it all.
That is too great. I needed that laugh today!
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